Twenty-some years ago, a reporter interviewed me for one of the trade publications. Later he told our PR director the interview went well, but the whole time we were talking, he couldn’t take his eyes off my head. She asked him why. He said, “It’s the size of a beach ball.”
After the last few weeks, my head probably is approaching blimp size. I’ve often said that if you want beautiful women to tell you how good you look, get cancer: they’ll start every conversation telling you how good you look. Apparently, if you want people to tell you you’re some combination of Gandhi, Shakespeare and Bernbach, tell them you’re dying of cancer.
The emails, the Facebook posts, the personal letters, the notes and the comments on this blog have been over-the-top kind and generous. I’ve read each one at least two or three times. The messages have buoyed me every day.* I’m surprised and humbled and proud of the way you see me. It’s undoubtedly good that it’s not the way I see myself.
I hope I’m keeping all this in the right perspective. I know how lucky I’ve been my entire life and even now. From the day I was born, I was destined to be a tall, white, American male with a reasonable head of hair. All of that stuff shouldn’t matter, of course—and there’s nothing fair about it. But it does make a difference. (It would have been nice if my DNA had also made me slim, handsome, musically gifted and athletic—but you can’t have everything.)
I grew up in a great and supportive family—and later a great and supportive family grew up around me. I had wonderful opportunities in my brief career as a journalist—and even better ones in my career in advertising. I never struggled to find a job; I never had one I hated; I was never fired. I worked a lot of hours—way more than 60 or 70 a week—but since I enjoyed the work, I never resented the lost nights and weekends—except when they threatened my marriage, which they sometimes did. Ginny was right to be worn out by my unpredictable workdays; I should have found ways to get on top of them. I never did. But even when she was barely tolerating my workaholism, she never stopped loving me. She’s a remarkable woman and I was born under a lucky star.
I have been fortunate in many other ways. More than 20 years ago, Ginny recognized signs of depression in me—signs no one else suspected at all–and encouraged me to be tested. It turns out I had a severe case with symptoms I’d been suppressing for years. It also turned out that medicines could cure my symptoms almost overnight. (What a relief! What a gift!) It also led me into long-term therapy programs with a very helpful (and patient) psychiatrist. Every minute with him was well spent.
My personal wheel of good fortune spins on and on. My whole career I’ve been surrounded by smart, imaginative and creative people who let me share in their accomplishments. I’ve had adventures in every part of the world—and I’ve known how fortunate I’ve been all those times in all those places. (When Ginny and I are abroad, our most common conversation begins with, “I can’t believe we get to do this.”)
There have been hard times, of course. We will never, ever recover from the loss of our older son Preston in 2001. Parents are not meant to outlive their children. There are times for both Ginny and me that memories of Preston will creep up on us and leave us in tears. (It happened to me about eight weeks ago, while Ginny and I were talking to a filmmaker outside a movie theater in NYC. One minute I’m OK, then I’m not.) Overall, though, a few awful times don’t erase the joys of the good times—including many good times with Preston.
So I see myself as very lucky. But the notes I’m receiving these days tell me others see me differently. I’m pretty sure I’m right, but I’m at least going to linger for a while in the glow of your correspondence. Thank you. You’ve made this typically insecure copywriter feel a little more confident. Maybe I’ll even pick up a little swagger.
*Forgive me for not replying directly to each of you. I’m not sure what the etiquette is here, but I just don’t have the energy to address all the messages. I hope everyone understands.
Mike, I read and re-read your blog many times a day, along with every comment that it inspires. I share it with everyone I know. 2 weeks ago we had the great fortune of winning Media Agency of the Year. I used my time at the podium to ask people to read your blog and celebrate how you have inspired so many. And, to take a little minute to send you and your family some extra love.
Integrity.
That’s the word the I think of when I think of you. Actually it’s you and John. As you know, you are part of two pairs…you and Ginny and you and John. I only know the you and John part and of that part – my life and career have been blessed.
I think we love this industry and it’s people equally. Thus I think our hearts are equally broken we we find so many signs of a lack of integrity in it. You are John are mavericks. You are John has shown the industry that good people doing good work is possible. You don’t have to be the glitz and glam. You don’t have to scheming around every corner. You can choose to set a different course. You and John have built a great company together that has shaped my career in ways that you will never truly comprehend. You’ve given those of us who follow – the chance to walk that walk – I am forever grateful.
Mike,
You’re an “all in” kind of guy. Whether family, advertising, travel, writing, laughing – you’re all in. And your blog has pulled us all in. Another opportunity to share in your ideas, your clarity, your wicked sense of humor.
What a gift!
Caley
Thank you Mike, for sharing the journey so honestly and generously. It’s wonderful to know you better and to learn from your life lessons. And to feel the feelings. xo
Mike, I am blessed for getting the opportunity to know you and to have worked with you. Sending many good thoughts to you and Ginny. Susie
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”
― William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
Mike –
Thanks for sharing. Beach ball or not it is a head full of wisdom! Won’t you stay just a little bit longer.
A good day is a day when there is a blog from you. Also, on behalf of all the women who’ve met you, you are a very handsome man:) Can’t comment on your musical abilities…xox
Mike Hughes with “a little swagger” will be a beautiful thing!
Mike,
I have enjoyed reading each and every one of your blogs. My daughter-in-law Lori especially enjoyed your letter to Ella. She said what a wonderful gift a sixteen girl could receive on her birthday.
Thank you and Patti for sharing your Mother with us for all these years. We will never forget the Sunday afternoons when the Murphy l2 invaded Granite. You are an inspiration to all of us. Glad the COPYWRITER is still at work. Ben and I are praying for you, Ginny and the entire family.
Love,
Celie
You’re a good man Mike Hughes!
Mike
If I could describe you and your dad in one word it would be TWINS! When I read your blog it is as if Uncle Mickey is speaking thru you. I sincerly mean this as a compliment! My brother Bill inheridated my dads manorism and I cherish the time I spend with him, and as you write about Jason I am sure he has the same manorism of you and his grandpa Mickey. I wish I was closer and could visit Big Ann (not really sure how she was known to the Roachs as that!) I truely hold her close in my heart and prayers. Love you cousin and enjoy your boys week end!
Christ’s Peace
Fran
Just so long as you don’t start singing that white rap song from the Toyota “Swagger Wagon” commercial.
Speaking of looking good, I was really surprised how good you looked the other day. I was very nervous and a bit scared of what I would find on the other side of your door. I was so relieved that what I found was good old Mike Hughes. Are you doing Weight Watchers again? You looked fantastic! How many points do you get
Seriously, a big thanks to Adam for including me in the group visit. Hope you enjoyed the banjo.
And I’m glad that you realize how lucky your are. And how lucky we all are that Al Gore invented this marvelous invention called the internet. I hope when my time comes I have the same opportunity to read and write such beautiful thoughts with the people I love. Though there won’t be nearly as many for me to read as you have.
Mike, I don’t know you. I work in advertising and some I know knows you. I’ve heard your name over the years and know of your agency of course. Reading your recent posts has profoundly affected me. Your words make me cry thinking I have wasted moments of this precious life doing or saying or living in ways I shouldn’t. At the same time, they make me smile and feel blessed for my family and friends and having love around me daily. They remind me to wake up every day gracious for another 24 hours. You are giving to this world right now in a way that you probably don’t know just how much. Thanks for your strength to write and touch us all.
I am also very happy whenever there’s a new post from you as you cover a wide and important range of topics – all with insight, compassion and grace. I just finished the little red book about your imperfect company. It was almost as good as this blog. Thank you for it and consider creating a book out if this blog. Afterall, you probably need a project or two past this one. You know what they say about people like you who retire.? They just don’t know what to do with themselves and fade away too soon. We don’t want you to join that group.
As I sign off, I’m holding the vision of a Mike Hughes with swagger. It makes me smile and I’m hoping that this new Mike Hughes doesn’t spill his Big Gulp as he moves down the agency’s hallways.
Love to you and Ginny,
Diane
I know everyone who reads your blog feels exactly as I do — that you are writing just to me. What a gift you have always had — the ability to connect with your ‘target audience’ with your words, to be relevant and resonant, and to tell amazing stories. Thanks for sharing your gift. Love you tons, Mike.
I read every one of your posts too, Mike.
Mike, I’m immensely grateful that I have had the privilege to know you, to work with you. You wouldn’t remember this, I’m quite sure… We had breakfast one day at the Berkeley Hotel, back in the 90′s. It was a conversation that really stuck with me. It helped me realize some dreams. I’m living them now. Thank you. We all love you.
Mike…
Patti’s girlfriends send their love to you and Ginny. Thank you for everything you have done for us….you have been so generous and so kind. You will always have a special place in our hearts. PS…we promise to discuss politics or some other serious subject in your honor every once in a while.
Much Love,
Barb & Douglas & Lupy
Your head may be big, but it is not as big as your heart.
I have always felt your heart was big enough to talk to and touch each one of us. I feel the love from you and I know we all do. And we love you right back.
I found something today that I shared on FB but I thought you would like it too. It made me think of Ginny, my mom, my mother-in-law, my best friend since 4th grade, and many, many wonderful women. I hope you and Ginny like this too. This inspired me to continue to be in awe of all those I adore and to enjoy when songs like this enrich every fiber of my being.
Sending you all my love and healing prayers, and of course, lots and lots of hugs!! Jean
Hi Mike, a very beautiful day here in Berkeley. You were spoken of very lovingly in Oakland, California tonight with healer Christopher Randle MS L.Ac. He viewed your web page and the hut,hut,hut beautiful piece. Wow is all I could hear, I will take you to Chris when you come to Berkeley.
I am so happy you are well and positive.
Respectfully,
Katie
Mike,
Thank you so very much for your openness, honesty, bravery, wit, perspective and humor. My time working with you was brief, but your impact is much more. Thank you.
It’s 4am and I find I can’t sleep. Not unusual. But lately I find my thoughts are on you. “I wonder what Mike is doing? I hope he had lots of joy today. I wonder if Mike will be up to posting again.” And then I think back to all the posts you’ve already blessed us with. And i reread some of them. And i read the replies. And I remember the stories from when I was so blessed to work with you. And mostly I remember the smile….that whole face, eyes shining, brighten hearts smile. And I smile.
I find myself telling folks in my life about you and trying to describe in words what a remarkable man you are. Most of the time I tell stories of you. Those do a much better job at trying to convey what my heart can’t seem to put into words.
Might be strange to have someone that I haven’t seen in many years still have such an impact on me but that is you Mike Hughes…..this one of a kind, remarkable man that stays in the hearts of the lives he encounters.
Sleep well Mike.
Hi Mike,
I am a latecomer to this blog, but I have gone back and read every word. I’ve loved all of them. I might have beat you to a story or two when we worked on competing newspapers back in the Dark Ages, but I could never beat your writing ability–or many of your other talents. (I still laugh about how you used to “get lost” when you were sent to cover auto accidents, so you would arrive too late to see the gore!)
I am thinking of you, Ginny, and all your family. Keep writing and prove all the doctors wrong. Love, Dale
Mike, I think you’re spot on in saying it’s tough to judge a man’s character based on this, his foxhole diary. I’ve never met you, but clearly you have friends who love you. I don’t know you as a person but I can tell that you have the most joyous love of life I have ever encountered. I am inspired to live my life more fully for having read these pages. Thanks for that. I wish you peace as you prepare to go over the top. God bless you. Alex
love you, Mike.
Bonsoir Mike I just know you had a Happy Day. I shared your little red book today and we read it together and you were there with us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you………….
Pleasant dreams
Swagger would look fantastic on you. Look forward to your next posts.
Keep going, Mike. The posts are so inspiring.
I’ve just binged on your blog, reading every post at least twice.
When you first went into the hospital 15 some years ago, I was a fledgling Martin newbie whose name you surely would not recognize. I wrote you a card and included a photo so you’d know who I was – like some stalker employee fan. When you returned to work, on the first day you took the time to march through the maze of cubes, find my desk and say “Of course I know who you are” and proceeded to talk to me about my work. It was my own An Officer and a Gentlemen moment (without uniforms, hats or kissing of course).
I’m sure there are hundreds – thousands – of other readers like me separated by time, distance and life who were deeply influenced by their own Mike Hughes moment of kindness.
I’m going to go read again and take every drop of advice you give…
Good Morning Over There,
OM it is that magic hour of 3am that finds me back in my newly painted office. I am so happy. I have promised never to collect anything ever again. Mon Dieu!!! Well, I really can not promise that. Because I have already started yet another collection. Curious ? Hello acorns! I can’t tell you why until I see Stacy Osterhaus and with her permission I will share the beautiful story that is just beginning to take wings!!! So already the collection has begun…. so perfect, so small, so very beautiful…. and, and, and I have begun again to collect a new word every day. Tah dah I have yet to decide on the word for this beautiful blue bird day and, and , and…………all the postive thoughts that I can have everyone send Mike Hughes everyday …..so I hope you, Mike will feel on top of the world today and everyday from here on forward.
Sending you a huge smile at 3:17am….Berkeley time………
Respectfully,
Katie
Mike I don’t know if you realize how much your blog has grows so many who have had similar journeys. Your honesty and valor are such a great pillar of strength and complete brilliance should make the NYTimes best Sellars list and a must read for humanity in total. Forever in our hearts’Sharon Spielman
Hello,
And just think it is not even a new day yet. But close. So have all the birds flown into Virginia cause they are not out my office window anymore. Where oh where have the birds flown off to. Will have to call Courtney Beuchert he knows about such things like this
So the Russian soup is made. Madame Bovie made me make it all over I forgot the ketchup!!!!!!!!! Good grief it is just ketchup!!! Special dinner party at 2810 celebrating to be announced on Sunday, February 24th, Such a Rich and Varied life of………… tba
Cleaning out my office desk and………tah dah a letter concerning the Pierre……his art was selected to go to Japan into a museum!! Age 7, subject a dragon in color!!! Where oh where is that dragon now.? Does it have patina yet? Will have to locate it in Japan who is going? Fun things a mother saves. The Pierre loved going to Tom Hollland’s house and looking at his art work. Lots of hearts in the kitchen that he made for his wife Judith. That and to eat all the cookies that he could get his hands on……….. too fast this life goes.
Ha and his second grade report card…………artist in the making is the teacher comment! Good grief is all I could think…………..
Welll the rest is history now……that is what Jean.Pierre turned out to be. !! He has all the birds over there in D.C. ah…………..send them back to me. I miss them…….
Oh dear I better say good night cause…..”.one nice thing before lunch and one nice thing after lunch”, Mike Hughes told us so
Bonsoir with Respect of your journey,
Katie